A Little Rip In US All

“In a word, Rip was ready to attend to anybody’s business but his own; but as to doing family duty, and keeping his farm in order, he found it impossible.”
Washing Irving
“Rip Van Winkle”



This humorous description probably applies to us all at one point or another. Irving is pointing out the fact that it is much easier to deal with someone else’s problems than to deal with one’s own. How many times a day do people attempt to counsel others when their advice might be better directed at themselves? (I would like to point out once again that everyone has done this at one point or another, and, in following the theme of this entire post, I am also lecturing myself!)

Dealing with other people’s chores, problems, and insecurities is easier because it provides us with a way to confront these problems without applying them to ourselves. Although the advice might be beneficial to others, if the advisor never sees how the advice is relevant to their own lives, then they often fail to grow as a person. Rip Van Winkle is stuck in a stagnant life. His house is falling down, his farm is failing, and he enjoys conversing with his dog much more than with his own wife. (I know, dogs listen without criticizing…I admit they are the perfect friends to vent off steam, but the conversation is a bit one sided.)

Helping other people is a wonderful thing, but when individuals fail to take pride and responsibility for their own life, many important things become neglected. Helping acquaintances with their chores and problems is easier than dealing with issues revolving around intimates like the members of one’s family. Our own daily troubles and family problems are much more intimidating because they are closer to us. When confronted with our own responsibilities which seem daunting and threatening, we often compensate by helping others whose problems are much more distant.

As with many things in life, people need balance to achieve a healthy medium of helping themselves and others. In fact, improving our own life often makes us more secure and content which benefits those around us as well. We no longer have to turn a blind eye to the door leaning a little of the hinge or feel guilty about the unacknowledged pain we might have caused someone in our family. By resolving issues in our own lives, we become better counselors, friends, and helpers to those around us.

What do you think about Rip’s neglect for his own life in favor of concentrating on the problems of others?

What are the responsibilities to one’s self, family, and acquaintances; how do you think these responsibilities differ?

I would love to hear your comments and input!

--Carrie Goertz